Troubled Times

This is a picture I took of Heidi and Rhonda when we were on a trip to Palm Springs a number of years ago.

It is difficult for me to blog when traumatic things are unfolding and I can't see through the tears. I will try to catch you up on what happened:

My very dear friend, Heidi, had breast cancer but had been cancer free for more than 3 years. This past December her back started hurting to the point where she was bedridden. She went to a pain management doctor who x-rayed her back and was appalled to find her spine, scull and ribs engulfed with tumors. Heidi had been getting consistent treatment at Mayo Clinic, just a few weeks earlier they had told her that she was doing great. Man were they ever wrong! Since December, Heidi has been getting very good care at the Cancer Treatment Center. Unfortunately, about 10 days ago she became very dehydrated and developed pnumonia. We thought she was recovering and were looking for a long term care facility where she could stay until she got her strength back. But the pnumonia overtook her. Thursday evening, June 3rd, she was placed in Hospice of the Valley. I went over to visit, just after lunch on Friday when I found out where she was. Heidi had a lucid momment where she recognized me and smiled. I held her hand and kissed her forehead. Heidi is one very strong person! I stayed with her until evening, went home and returned the next morning. All day Saturday Heidi lay in bed. There were no more waking momments where she spoke or recognized anyone. She had stopped taking ice chips or drinking any water. I went home around 6pm. The next morning, Sunday, June 6th, at 7:30 am, Michael called to let me know that Heidi had passed. He said I could come see her, but I said no, I saw her yesterday, I saw her in life, and I am good with that.

Now the grief sets in. I managed to hold the tears back for a day. I did a lot of crying during Heidi's process of dieing, then I thought that I was okay. I am not okay. I miss me dear friend. I had known Heidi for almost 30 years. We might not talk for 5 years, but then we pick up right where we left off. Heidi was my strength, my protector, my friend. My life won't be the same without her. Everyone who knew Heidi will miss her.

A quote my daughter shared with me...."After all, to the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure" -Dumbledore
Heidi is on her next great adventure...........but I still miss her!