Troubled Times

This is a picture I took of Heidi and Rhonda when we were on a trip to Palm Springs a number of years ago.

It is difficult for me to blog when traumatic things are unfolding and I can't see through the tears. I will try to catch you up on what happened:

My very dear friend, Heidi, had breast cancer but had been cancer free for more than 3 years. This past December her back started hurting to the point where she was bedridden. She went to a pain management doctor who x-rayed her back and was appalled to find her spine, scull and ribs engulfed with tumors. Heidi had been getting consistent treatment at Mayo Clinic, just a few weeks earlier they had told her that she was doing great. Man were they ever wrong! Since December, Heidi has been getting very good care at the Cancer Treatment Center. Unfortunately, about 10 days ago she became very dehydrated and developed pnumonia. We thought she was recovering and were looking for a long term care facility where she could stay until she got her strength back. But the pnumonia overtook her. Thursday evening, June 3rd, she was placed in Hospice of the Valley. I went over to visit, just after lunch on Friday when I found out where she was. Heidi had a lucid momment where she recognized me and smiled. I held her hand and kissed her forehead. Heidi is one very strong person! I stayed with her until evening, went home and returned the next morning. All day Saturday Heidi lay in bed. There were no more waking momments where she spoke or recognized anyone. She had stopped taking ice chips or drinking any water. I went home around 6pm. The next morning, Sunday, June 6th, at 7:30 am, Michael called to let me know that Heidi had passed. He said I could come see her, but I said no, I saw her yesterday, I saw her in life, and I am good with that.

Now the grief sets in. I managed to hold the tears back for a day. I did a lot of crying during Heidi's process of dieing, then I thought that I was okay. I am not okay. I miss me dear friend. I had known Heidi for almost 30 years. We might not talk for 5 years, but then we pick up right where we left off. Heidi was my strength, my protector, my friend. My life won't be the same without her. Everyone who knew Heidi will miss her.

A quote my daughter shared with me...."After all, to the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure" -Dumbledore
Heidi is on her next great adventure...........but I still miss her!

Thursday = No Painting

I can't believe how busy I was today with so much little stuff that I was never able to focus on painting! I hiked the base of Lookout Mountain, coming out at the saddle and then back home with only 15 minutes to shower and get to the dentist. I let time get awawy from me. Then I was off to the thrift stores, looking for shorts and possibly an ice chest. Though I found shorts, I ended up buying an ice chest at Target. I am starting to think seriously about the roadtrip Rainy and I are taking as we leave in just 9 days. I found our propane stove and got it all cleaned up and checked to make sure it worked. There is still so much to do, one day at a time.


Though I knew I wasn't going to get a chance to paint today, I still neededd to make my 6" x 6" daily artwork. I decided that it would be a good time to draw. I worked with ballpoint pen and a mirror to capture my basic features. I wanted to make a collage in the style of Romare Bearden, so I looked through my W magazine for eyes. This is also where I found the beaded shoe bauble to cover the forehead. Adding the hand was the final touch! I titled it "Looking for Me".

It was a fun and fairly quick piece to make!

Woeful Wednesday

I am feeling very restless this morning. I don't feel like hiking or doing much of anything. I guess I am lost. I am not sure what to do with myself. I might spend some time planning the road trip I am taking with Rainy before settling into painting. I think the background of the cactus flower might be dry enough that I can work a bit on the flower petals. I should start another drawing....but I don't know what I want to draw. That sense of restlessness is slowing me down.


Yesterday, I worked in my sketchbook (IW=Investigational Workbook). I used pastels and drew the cactus flower that I am also painting. For the first time, I used workable fixative to keep areas from smudging and turning into mud. I had read about this technique, but hadn't tried it. I liked the way it worked because I could lay down yellows, fix it, then add greens over the surface without effecting the yellows. It certainly increases the layering possibilities! I spent the enitre afternoon on the drawing; it was actually fairly relaxing.

It's Tuesday, but feels like Monday!

I am still getting up around 5 in the mornings; usually after a couple of weeks of summer break I am sleeping until 9am. Maybe that won't happen this year. That is okay with me as I am finding the mornings to be rather productive. After my morning dose of coffee, I hiked Lookout Mountain, this time I circled the lower peak and then came back home. I really need to watch my footing as I stumbled on a rock but stopped the all out fall with my hands, jarring my shoulder slightly. Careful Julie!

I am not sure yet which paintings I will be working on today. The dark blue on the International truck is really slow drying. I did work on 2 paintings yesterday.

Looking Inward: I worked a bit on my eyes so they are no longer white hollow spaces! The eye coloring is pretty accurate. I still need to work on the overall shape and add some small details. I also painted in the hair, capturing the dark values and the highlights.









Gunfight: I struggled with the lower half of all four girls! It was difficult getting the shadows and creases in the pants to look right. I also painted the gunholsters on the girls. I realized that 2 older ones had a place for bullets and an additional holster for a larger gun......a rifle maybe? I kept smudging the paint with the edge of my hand so I decided it would be best to paint their boots after the pants were dry!