Cactus Flower

I didn't get a chance to paint until after lunch. This morning I hiked just to the saddle of Lookout Mountain and back, and then worked in the backyard. I added more mulch around my potatoes, I keep buying more compost and the potato plants just keep getting taller. I have never planted potatoes begore and am hoping for a good crop! Next I gave Dusty a bath, cleaned the fountain, and then cleaned up the back patio. I was pretty grungy when I finished; my shower felt refreshing.

Again, I hesitated just getting started with my painting of the cactus flower. I knew I wanted to begin with the background, yet my subconscious kept me worried about the painting. So I procrastinated......I made my daily collage, fooled around on the internet, ate lunch.....did anything to avoid painting. Finally I just said "Stop!" I got out my paints and spent about 90 minutes getting the green part of the cactus painted in place. I did not worry about the long cactus spines at this point, as they will be painted in later. I also added in the green shade that is located at the center of the flower bloom. Now it needs a few days to dry before I can paint the flower petals.

Tomorrow I should be able to work on Gunfight and International, they will be dry enough to safely handle. I might start another project as well, but I will have to do some brainstorming to figure out what comes next.

Saturday

I was up early this morning, at least I rolled out of bed somewhere around 5:30 even though I had been awake since much earlier. When I went out to get this newspaper, I saw that one of our cacti was blooming. You have to catch the blooms just right as thay only last one day. The sun was coming up, low and to the right. The flower was beautiful! I went back in the house to get my camera so that I could take a few pictures of it. I used to paint cacti flowers all the time, that is what I started with. I might turn this one into a painting. I love the lighting on the flower.

Even though I am off for summer break, I still leave all those necessary chores for Saturday. I wonder why that is!?! There won't be much time for artwork, at least not this morning, but I will try for later in the day. I might sketch out this cactus bloom on a canvas!

Looking Inward

I have spent a good part of the day on this painting and am feeling pretty positive at the moment. I must admit that I took a break midday to run a few errands, but I promise you that I wasn't procrastinating........I had to go to the bank. I started on the skin instead of finishing the ribs first, which actually made painting the ribs more difficult because I didn'y have a place to rest my hand. I thought about letting the paint dry for a couple of days, but I know it is hard to duplicate the exact skin tones once the paint has dried, so I continued on. Next I will tackle the eyes and the hair.

I feel good about myself today.

Gunfight

I have already been somewhat productive this morning, simply managed to control that urge to procrastinate! I added in the shirts on all four girls, accentuating the shadows to achieve that impressionistic style that I so prefer. Now they need to dry before I add in the pants, holsters, & guns.

Rascal #2

This is a painting of Rascal, my daughter's 17 year old cat. Yesterday I added whiskers and a few other finishing touches. I am just waiting to hear back from Rainy as to if there are any adjustments that she thinks I neeed to make.

International

I finished sketching the International dump truck on canvas and then ran I few errands, just as I stated I would. Pretty good!

Before I started painting, I created a quick painting of the dump truck in my sketchbook using acrylic paints. I was quickly reminded why I don't work in acrylic paint...they dry much to fast. The practice made me eager to get started on the actual painting. No delay this time, I got right to work! I painted in the background and the windows of the dump truck, starting again with the areas that are furthest away from the viewer. To get the windows really dark, I combined lamp black, ultramarine blue and cobalt blue. How I love the smoothness of oil paint and how they blend together so easily!

Procrastinate

Procrastinate - belonging to the morrow, to put off doing (something unpleasant or burdensome) until a further time; to postpone (such actions) habitually.

Why do I do this? Procrastinate? Again the fear steps in and convinces me that I should be organizing a drawer or making a run to Goodwill rather than doing the more challenging thing.....starting on a new painting. That little voice says "drawing that old International truck is REALLY hard" "it won't be easy, do something else instead" And so I get suckered in, walk away from my studio, get in the Jeep, and go to Goodwill. Honestly, I do need to take a few things to Goodwill and I do need to go to Cosco to buy an atlas for my roadtrip, but I can not use those things as a means to avoid my artwork.

Okay Julie......

1. I will finish drawing the old truck BEFORE I do anything else.
2. This afternoon I will work on the Rascal painting and I will start painting the International!

No excuses, at least not for today.

"Looking Inward" Influences

"Who Am I?" was completed in February 2009. I was taking a life drawing class at the time and was drawing from a model. I wasn't able to finish it in class, so I finished it up at home. I had to use my own face in the drawing because I hadn't sketched in the models facial features. This was the first time I ever incorporated skeletal bones into my artwork.

"Julie, Beat Up and Abandoned" was a painting I created to show how I was feeling at the time. I still feel this way. I completed it in early May, 2009. From my paintings of skeletons wearing clothing, I moved into this version of a skeleton wearing skin to show that I had been hurt, abused, and angered; but the healing has begun and I am moving forward.

These two paintings have pushed me into my current painting, "Looking Inward".

Looking Inward

I have been up long enough to give Dusty (our 13 year old lab) a bath and to make a few entries in my IW (Investigation Workbook) (Sketchbook). I want to blog before I settle in to painting.

This is the start of the painting that I refer to as "Looking Inward". It actually grew out of a few previously finished artworks. In 2009, I created a mixed media piece in a life drawing class I was taking. The woman was drawn with pencil, using cross contours. The background was fabric. The heart and ribs were oil pastels on vellum which was glued in place over the drawing. More recently I have been working on a 3-D piece which depicts myself when a was a newborn and myself now (It is not quite finished). I also recently completed an oil painting of myself with half my head and upper body portrayed as a skeleton. I will post these inspirational pieces later today so that you can see the similarities.
The concept of Looking Inward is that whether I am naked or clothed, I still feel exposed to the harshness of the world in which I live. I need to look inside, to my heart, to what is me. Then I need to accept what I see. This is me, Julie, I am sensitive, I am strong, I will believe in myself, I will become a better person!
Before I started the painting, I looked in books and on the internet to try and determine the placement of a woman's breasts in relation to the sternum. Interestingly, most images dealt with the male body. I solved that problem by simply looking in the mirror and figuring it out for myself! I hesitated to start the painting. FEAR FACTOR. I wasn't sure how I wanted the ribs and heart to look. Should they be transparent, on top of the skin? Should it look like there is a hole, the skin missing exposing the heart and ribs? Should it look like everything kind of melds together? Without making a firm decision, I just started painting. I like to begin with what is farthest away, in this case, the back of the rib cage. Once that was done, I added the heart. I need to wait for that section to dry before tackling the exposed ribs. I still felt like painting so I moved on to the belly and then the blanket. I am matching the color of the blanket to the background of the fabric I have selected to use. With the blanket done, I will be able to work all of the skin at once when I am ready to start on it! I was pleased with the progress I was able to make in only about 2 hours of painting.

Now I realize that I need to start another painting as the 3 in progress are drying. Watch for "International"!

May 25, 2009

This is an in-progress painting that I have been working on since May 2nd. While I was teaching, I only managed weekends to work on it, but now that it is summer break, I have my days free to create art. Funny thing though, I am always afraid that I am going to "make a mistake", to somehow ruin the painting. Never mind that oil paint can be "erased" with turpentine while it is still wet, or that it can simply be painted over when dry, I still have that basic fear of not getting it right.

"Art and Fear" by David Bayles & Ted Orland is a book I recommend for all artists to read. It has helped me, yet it is hard to overcome years and years of thinking that nothing about myself was good enough. I married my first husband when I was 25 years old and for 17 years I was never tall enough (sorry, I wasn't going to get any taller than my current 5"0") and I was never thin enough (even when I weighed 100 pounds). Though we have been divorced for twelve years, I still carry with me a lack of self esteem. Unfortunately, this carries over into my artwork. I work everyday to overcome the fear of getting it wrong.
Back to my painting......it is based on this photograph of my three sisters and me that my mom took in approximately 1963. Back then we celebrated Rodeo Day at school every year when the Jaycee's Rodeo of Rodeos came to town. We were decked out in matching outfits from Saba's Western Wear. Mom took a few photos that morning before we headed off to school. I am guessing that in this photo, we were getting prepared for a mock gunfight as we had pistols ready to fire. Wow, how things have changed since those years of innocence! I find the idea of those times and the image itself very appealing, hence it's portrayal in a painting.

Back to the painting......I have ignored the background in the photo and chose to go with violet tones so that I will have an analogous color scheme when the painting is complete. Originally I had strong brushstrokes of color in the background, but it was too much so I simply toned it down to give the background a softer feel. I remind myself again, just change it if it doesn't work! Don't be afraid. Yesterday I came back to the painting, and yes, I was afraid to even start on painting the four girls. "Start simple" I told myself. I began with the faces and decided I could paint the cowboy hats at the same time. Once I got going, I relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I am pleased with the way it looks at this stage. I will wait a few days for the paint to dry and then I will tackle the shirts. No problem! Conquer the fear!

This morning I am starting a new painting that I refer to as "Looking Inward". I will be posting on it's progress in the days to com.

Monday, 5-24-10

I have decided to try blogging about my artwork, the planning process, the creation, and how it reflects what is happening in my personal life. I am new at this so please bear with me through my blunders and errors. I will try not to bore you. I do promise you honesty and images as I go.