I'm Back to Making Art

Since school started the end of July, I have had difficulties finding time to spend in my studio.  Mostly it is because I am tired.  The weekends have been full of household chores.  The reality is that I had distanced myself from the paintings that I had started in early June, and just hadn't been able to reconnect with them.

Last weekend I convinced myself to go back to my paintings.  It took a lot of self talk, you know the type......I had to convince myself that I wouldn't "ruin" the painting and that I was good enough to work on it.  I was scared.  One of the paintings is a self-portrait titled "Looking Back".  The only portion I had finished was the walls.  I jumped in and painted the tile flooring.  I started by painting the grout lines (somewhat sloppily) and then came back in and painted the tiles one at a time.  It wasn't so hard and it really didn't take that much time.  I set the painting aside to let the paint dry.  A few days later I came back in and added a large concrete, round planter in front of the wall to the left of the figure.  When it is dry, I will come back in and add vines growing from the planter and up the wall.  The idea for the setting came from a picture my sister Joni had taken when she was in Italy.  The setting is important to me as I am looking back from where I have been yet I am heading into a hallway where the destination is hidden.  The future is unknown.

Another painting goes in my series on run down, beat up, abandoned vehicles.  This is an old International dump truck that I had photographed years ago when I was living in Divide, Colorado.  This painting has been mostly complete since early June.  I recently came back in and painted the side mirror, the lights on top, and the side grill.  When the paint is dry, maybe today, I will work more on the side grill area.  I need to finish that area before I can paint the fender well and light.  This painting is very close to being done!

My 13 year old yellow lab, Dusty, died 2 weeks ago.  Her death has been very hard on me and I have hard time just functioning.  I have managed to get back to tracking my food for weight watchers and I have gotten back to exercising this week  Nothing has been easy, but making art has helped.  I started a new process that up till now I have only used on my mini collages.  I decided to try the process on a larger painting of Dusty.  I began by tearing old magazine and book pages into small pieces and adhered them to the canvas with matte medium.  My smaller paintings have been completed using oil pastels, but I am using oil paint for this experimentation.  Once the glued papers were dry, I thinned some black paint with turpentine and drew Dusty's outline.  When that was dry, I painted in this layers of overlapping greens and blues.  My next step will be the underpainting of Dusty.  This painting might take a while, it must be done in phases with drying time.  I am enjoying the painting process.  It is the journey that is important.

This is the completed 6" x 6" collage I made of Dusty.  This one started with the collaged papers, but the painting was done with oil pastels.  It is titled "Dusty, All Grown Up".  It was based on a photo I had taken in the winter of 2002 when Rainy, Dusty, and I were all visiting the Conte family in Eagle, Colorado.  I put in the dark red background to create a contrast with Dusty's lighter yellow hair while also portraying the idea of sadness.  I think the collage is very successful.  I am still working on a mini collage of Dusty when she was a puppy, it uses very bright colors to portray her exuberance.